英文笑话第一篇：

1. I'm not addicted to Wechat! You know, I just use it whenever I have time. Lunch time, break time, bed time, that time, this time, any time, all the time!我对微信并不上瘾。我只在有空时玩微信。主要是在午饭时间、休息时间、睡前时间、这些时间、那些时间、任何时间和所有时间玩玩而已。(这里主要利用time来达到幽默的效果，仔细体会一下英文哦!)

2. I hate two-faced people.It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.我最恨两面派，因为我不知道先扇哪边的脸，这让我很为难。

3.When a woman says “WHAT?”, it’s not because she didn't hear you. She’s just giving you a chance to change what you said.当一个女人说“什么?”，这不是因为她没听见你说什么。她只是在给你一个机会来收回你刚刚所说的话。

4. When people call you photogenic, they're actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pics.当人们说你真上镜时，他们其实是想告诉你：你本人看起来比照片丑多了。

英文笑话第二篇：

1. People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.人们说笑容是最好的良药。你的脸一定能治愈全世界。

2. Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, and don’t sell drugs. The government hates competition.不要偷，不要撒谎，不要欺骗，不要贩毒。因为(美国)政府痛恨有人和它竞争。

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.婚姻是这样一种关系，一个人永远是对的，另一个人是丈夫。

4. Sometimes you just need some space...to fart.有时你只是需要一些空间来放屁!

英文笑话第三篇：

1. They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?他们说爱比金钱更重要，但是你是否试过用一个拥抱来付你的账?

2. When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…”当我临终之时，我希望我的最后遗言是“我留了一百万美金，放在了。”

3 I always learn from mistakes of others who take my advice.我总是从那些听了我的建议之后犯错的人哪里吸取经验教训。